If you seek immortality, be forewarned. It tends to go on forever.
If you persist, the likeliest option will be "mind uploading," wherein your thoughts, personality, emotions, and fantasies are electrically migrated from aging neurons to state-of-the-art silicon.
Combine that with a robotic replacement body and you'll be good to go (at least until your 100,000-mile service). And don't worry that friends might think you've become a rusty, hard-shelled, fuse-blowing automaton. What they'll actually think is that you haven't change a bit.
Your second option is to masquerade as a Turritopsis dohrnii, the immortal jellyfish (not making this up). Turritopsis dohrnii can, after reaching maturity, slowly revert back to its youth and begin the entire cycle again, a process that in theory can go on forever, though most of the jellyfish succumb to predation or disease.
But there’s another viable cause for jellyfish demise, one that relates to the downside of eternal life, and to a possible career path for jellyfish. Simply put, Turritopsis dohrnii dies of boredom.
Consider the life of jellyfish. First, they’re not fish, they’re not even vertebrates, they’re spineless. Second, their nervous system is comprised solely of nerves that stretch along the outer body, with no brain, they’re brainless. Third, nobody likes jellyfish, they’re unpopular. And finally, they’re gelatinous blobs that float around, they’re do-nothings.
That’s why jellyfish would thrive in the United States Congress—as spineless, brainless, unpopular, do-nothing gelatinous blobs, they’d fit right in. And whereas a typical Congressperson, being human (more or less), can serve for perhaps fifty years at most, an immortal jellyfish could serve forever, thus sparing constituents the hassle of thinking about whom to vote for. And for the jellyfish, though saddled with immortality and Beltway traffic, they at least would have good perks, like interns and free airport parking.
PS: If comparing Congress to jellyfish seems disrespectful, I’d like to apologize to the jellyfish.
